Tears In Heaven
by Silver Kitten
Summary: hiya! ok this is my first HA! song fic...Arnold's grandpa gets cancer...its sad..yeah, but i'd really love some input on this! thanks ^_^


Tears In Heaven 

Hi guyz!  It's me again *crowd goes silent* ehehehe *sweatdrop* well I decided I'd like to try a song fic for Hey Arnold…surprisingly enough there's no sap in it O_O but it is kinda sad…I almost cried when the idea came to me.  Well I hope ya like it, and just a warning that it does kinda skip a lotta time, but I mean its those times that don't really do anything for the story, so I tried making it as simple as possible.  Plz leave a review if u liked it, and a flame if u want to, cuz it's your opinion.  Enjoy!

Oh yeah, the disclaimer!  OK, I don't own Hey Arnold! Or anything, but it'd be interesting if I did…^_^

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**Would you know my name?**

If I saw you in heaven 

Grandpa's POV~

My thoughts wandered, more so disgruntled as I sat on the cold-papered bed, listening the doctor tell me the news no one wants to hear.  

"Surely you're mistaken…musta got the files mixed up.  There's no way."  I said, stubbornly.  Hoping my mockery would make the diagnosis go away.  

"I'm sorry, sir.  There was no mix up, no mistake.  I'm afraid you have cancer." He told me again, and I shuddered at the word…cancer.

"So what exactly are you telling me?  You ain't puttin no time frame on my life!" I stood up, my body sore and shaky, as I grabbed my jacket and began to leave.  

"Phil, be reasonable," 

"Reasonable?  You be reasonable when you hear you have an estimated time to live." I said rashly.  I wasn't as afraid to die, as I was to leave Arnold…my only grandson in this world, and what a boy…

Sure, he'd have pookie, and the rest of the Sunset Arms tenants, but…who would he share all his troubles with?  Who would he go to for advice that can only come from a grandpa?  

"I'll call you, and we can work out the details.  You have family to be with now…" the doctor said.  I was silent, and headed home.

**Would it be the same?**

**If I saw you in heaven**

I opened the door, letting the rampaging pig and cats and dogs run out, all the while thinking…I'll miss that.

Arnold ran down the stairs, a smile on his face, coming down for dinner.  All I could think was…I'll miss that.

I smelt the aroma of Grandma's cooking, and the rummaging of people finding their seats at the dinner table.  Only thinking how much…I'll miss that.

"Grandpa?  That you?  Hurry in here now, dinner is fresh and on the table!" my pookie yelled.  I hung my coat on the rack, and walked to the dining room, taking a seat.  

Mindless chitchat went on between people.  The common 'pass the salt, would ya?'s and 'would you like seconds?'.  I guess now I never noticed how absentminded we all are, taking the moments together for granted.  I thought on how to break the news, build it up or blurt it out.  How difficult this all was…I wanted Arnold to be the first to know.  

After dinner, I went up to his room, knocking reluctantly.

"Come in." Arnold said.

**I must be strong**

**And carry on**

**'Cos I know I don't belong**

Here in heaven 

Arnold's POV~

I sat at my desk, like usual, anticipating some lecture or crazy idea from grandpa.  I smiled inwardly and turned to face him.  I had expected that his face would be smiling or lit up by indirect motivation, but what I saw struck a nerve; his facial expression was meek and scared. 

"What is it, whats wrong?" I asked.  He pulled up a chair, and before I could blink, it came.  His personal sentence of death, lay out before me in not written form but emotional; so it was said in the tears brimming his eyes.  

"Arnold, I have cancer…"

What?  No!  Grandpa, it's not true…

There are no words of amused torture to express, only silence.  I didn't know how to respond…I could only think of Grandpa in a coffin, buried in remote sadness, leaving me behind with nothing but agony and grief in the absence of his presence.  

Grandpa, he raised me, when my parents wouldn't, or couldn't!  He took the parenting responsibility for the second time, all out of the goodness of his heart!  He's always been there for me, he's always given me advice!  He can't go!

"No!  Grandpa!"  I sprang up and hugged him as if I were denied to embrace him forever.  He hugged back, and I felt the warm liquid tears staining my shirt as he tightened his grip.

"Oh Arnold, I'm not gone yet." He said with a sudden chuckle, and I smiled dimly for his strength, not for himself, but for me…

**Would you hold my hand?**

If I saw you in heaven 

**Would you help me stand?**

**If I saw you in heaven**

Months had passed, and it's almost like Grandpa doesn't have a cancer cell left in him!  I know his time is coming, and he knows it too, but we both pretend that he'll live forever.  

"Arnold, when I'm gone, please don't think of me as gone.  Think of me right by your side, watching you and guiding you.  Of course I'll ease up on that whole guardian angel business when you start settling down with a girl…if ya know what I mean." Grandpa told me, nudging my side with a smirk.

"Grandpa!" I'd say, unable to contain a laugh.  He could always make me laugh.

Sometimes late at night, I'd wake up and go downstairs for a glass of water, but before I'd enter the kitchen I'd see Grandpa sitting at the table, and I'd stand watching him.  He'd be surrounded with bottles of medication, books of coping with death, and how to secure your family, and he'd always have with him a picture of Grandma and me close to his side.  Then when I'd walk in, without visual notice, I'd see him stuff the books away and out of sight, with the occasional "Hey short man!"

He was one of kind, and we'd sit and talk as if there wasn't a tomorrow…he made me realize that tomorrow is a gift, and like for any reason, it can be taken away.

**I'll find my way through night and day**

**I just can't stay**

**Here in heaven**

One day finally, he complained about too much pain, and his medication wasn't helping.  He ended up in the E.R.  Tears that were held back for so long surfaced in a symphony of defeat when I heard the doctor say his final hour was impending.  

I ran to the room, stayed by his side for hours as he slept in a treacherous sleep.  When he awoke, looking as pale and weak as freshly fallen snow, able to be abolished with a touch and melting away hastily, almost too soon, I didn't know and maybe didn't want to know this was the last conversation we'd ever have.  

"Arnold…" he coughed.  "I had so many…hopes…to be there when you go on your first date…to see you graduate…get married…have a couple kids…" his voice was shriveling up as he spoke.  "I wanted to see you through every hardship, I wanted to be there when you needed me…" 

"Grandpa…please..stop!" I whispered harshly.  I couldn't bear to hear anymore!

"Let me finish, please.  Arnold, this cancer has been eating away at me, consuming my strength, my life.  But it has not, and will not, consume my heart, my soul…my will.  Because I will see you when you go on your first date.  I will be in the stands when you graduate.  I will wait with you while you watch your bride walk down the isle.  I'll be there when you're hit with reality as your wife has her first kid.  I'll see you through every obstacle, and I'll always be there.  Not physically…but in some other presence…and in your heart.  I…I…love you Arnold…my favorite grandson…"

I cried…this anguish was leveling inside of me.  Why Grandpa?  Why now?

"Grandpa…I love you too!" Was what I last said, what he last heard me say.  "Grandpa, please don't go…don't leave me…Grandpa!" I yelled, questioning his closed eyes, dry of pain and life itself.  I knew he had passed on…I knew it, but I didn't want to believe it.  "Grandpa, no, come back…don't go…I need you with me…. Grandpa…don't leave me!" I cried to myself.

**Time can bring you down**

**Time can bend your knees**

**Time can break your heart**

Have you begging please 

**Begging please**

I shivered, walking to nowhere.  Grandma was at home now, everyone knew he was gone, and gave me condolences and such.  I didn't want to go home now though, not yet.  It's only been a week…

The loss of Grandpa was a lot to deal with.  Yet…his last words rang through my head like a chorus of angels singing a lullaby to wake the life in me again, the life that was dormant as I watched my Grandpa whither away.  I stood by his grave; crisp autumn leaves falling from the tree above it, with wind to guide them.  

"I miss you Grandpa…" I said lightly, wiping a tear away.  

"I'm sure he misses you too." Came a soft voice of solace.  I turned and saw Helga G. Pataki standing next to me by my Grandpa's grave, pain in her eyes for the pain in my heart.  

"Thanks, Helga." I replied with a swift smile that faded into an appearance of inner turmoil.  

"I know it must be hard to lose someone so close to you…but…I've seen a lot of your Grandpa…and…when you really think about it, there's something really immortal about him.  So try not to focus on him not being here…but that he is still here in some way." She told me.  I don't know what compelled her to say it, but I'm so glad she did.  She was about to walk away, but I approached her and gave her a hug, which I almost laughed because of her surprise reaction, but she hugged back.

"You really ought to speak your heart rather than your mind most other times, Helga." I told her with a smile.  She laughed in a quiet way, and with another warm feeling, I knew Grandpa was laughing with us.

**Beyond the door**

**There's peace I'm sure**

**And I know**

**There'll be no more**

**Tears in heaven**

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Okay, *sighs* the end.  I hope ya liked it, please let me know!  Take care!

~*Silver Kitten*~


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